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Top 53 Reasons Why Captain Janeway is Better Than Captain Picard
53. One word: hair
52. More hair than all previous Star Trek commanding officers combined!
51. Drinks coffee, not that sissy "Earl Grey" stuff.
50. Beams down to the planet like real Captains should.
49. Mutes the doctor when the doctor gets out of line.
48. Hasn't let an adolescent pilot the Federation flagship -- yet.
47. Voyager requires a woman as Captain. The ship needs a Captain willing to admit they're lost and pull over for directions.
46. Picard likes to talk his way through. Janeway likes to punch her way through.
45. Hasn't quote Shakespeare -- yet.
44. Looks better in sleepwear.
43. Janeway gives guilt trips that would make a Jewish mother proud.
42. Isn't French with an English accent.
41. Smart enough to have a Vulcan officer.
40. Will give you two days off to ponder your life-shattering experience.
39. Janeway says "I don't like you!" to her enemies instead of trying to convince them to behave better. (4)
38. Janeway has a First Officer with a tattoo.
37. She doesn't have any pesky Federation Admirals to get in her way.
36. Three words: Compression Phaser Rifles.
35. Acknowledges freely when she breaks the Prime Directive instead of trying to weasel her way out of it with philosophical ramblings.
34. 13 episodes and still hasn't surrendered the ship.
33. 13 episodes and Wesley still hasn't saved the ship.
32. Janeway's holo programs create useful things like doctors and lungs.
31. Picard's holodecks create maniacal evil geniuses who yet again take over the ship.
30. Janeway doesn't need to straighten her uniform every time she stands.
29. Picard: Three words: Stretch velour jumpers
28. Janeway: Three words: Form fitting uniform
27. Janeway has never worn green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest. However, if she did, she would look fantastic! (based on 5 and 6)
26. Kirk looked good in ripped shirts; Picard looked good without a shirt; Janeway would look incredible... no, they can't do that on network television. (based on 5, 6, 7)
25. Doesn't force her crew to wear stupid outfits, unless it is to blend in with a primitive planet (5)
24. She is smart enough not to waste time learning foreign languages.
23. All lifeforms in the Delta Quadrant speak perfect English.
22. Her engineer does not wear a banana clip over her eyes.
21. Slouches in her chair even in critical life-threatening moments.
20. Doesn't have a Counselor on board (thank God!).
19. Her telepath only lives nine years.
18. Her Chief Medical Officer will NEVER command the ship. (*whew* "Cathexis" was a close one!)
17. Janeway heard the words "boldly go where no man (er, woman) has gone before" and took them to the extreme. (based on 5)
16. Picard tells alien cultures, "I hope our two cultures will one day come to a greater understanding." Janeway threatens them with "the deadliest of force".
15. Janeway's Security Chief would never grow a ponytail. (based on 5,6)
14. The high point of Enterprise cuisine were scrambled eggs that only Worf could stomach.
13. Janeway doesn't have to point which way to go when they set off.
12. Maintains an elaborate hairdo that would baffle even Princess Leia.
11. Has mastered facial expression understood by all to mean, "Boy, Paris, are YOU ever stupid."
10. Hugs her Vulcan from time to time.
9. She doesn't have a starship that splits in half when it's in a tight spot.
8. Has a dog and a significant other, not some damn fish!
7. Kes Troi. No contest.
6. Neelix. Replicator. Ok, this one's debatable.
5. At least she doesn't have to yell "Hot!" at her cook every time she wants something to drink.
4. Janeway's ship has neat-looking folding warp nacelles.
3. Janeway's CONN officer actually went through the Academy. (12)
2. Janeway's first officer has a hallucinogenic device.
1. To help her relax, Janeway's first officer helps her contact her spirit guide. Picard's first officer helps him get... to Risa.
Top 88 Reasons Why Sisko is the Best Commanding Officer
By Capt. Cronan Thompson maliki@worldnet.att.net
88. He managed to blackmail a Ferengi (Emissary)
87. When Klingons attack him he not only kicks their ass but gets them to surrender
86. His son isn't a snot-nosed geek
85. His XO wears a cool earring
84. He has never, ever been split into a good and evil half
83. After being critically wounded he still has a sense of humour
82. Janeway worshiped a god. Kirk fought a god. Picard became a god. Sisko has done all
three with style.
81. His Makes Southern Baptists preachers jealous
80. Can lay out a guilt trip like no other
79. Hasn't been beaten in hand to hand combat.
78. Drinks Klingon Coffee (rakatajino) instead Earl Grey or wimpy human coffee.
77. First Officer has never betrayed the Federation
76. Has a Doctor that doesn't mind killing a couple of Klingons before breakfast.
75. One word: Defiant
74. Sisko's girl came back even though it meant a jail sentence
73. After a Klingon killed his friend, Sisko kicked his ass really hard
72. He and his crew took on a Klingon fleet.
71. His enigineer never had to go to the academy because he is SOOOOOO good.
70. He can out Ferengi the Ferengi.
69. His science officer has found anomalies boring.
68. He lost his true love to the Borg not some wimpy Klingons or Q
67. After fighting the Dominion he went and got a new ship. After five years Kirk got the
same ship with a software upgrade.
66. When he say, "fire a spread of torpedeos" Worf fires more than one
65. He managed to SAVE his son from the Klingons.
64. He actually realizes that there is no up and down in space
63. Worf wouldn't live much longer if threatened to kill Sisko where he stood
62. Q came to DS9 once and was scared away. He won't leave Janeway or Picard alone.
61. Two words: Quantum Torpedeos
60. Sisko makes a better Klingon than Worf
59. Plays baseball instead of reading Shakespeare
58. Fought gentically engineered soldiers (Jem'Hadar) in hand to hand and not only won but
gained their respect.
57. When he chases Maquis in to the badlands he doesn't get lost
56. His XO fought the Cardassians and won.
55. His Bartender doesn't wear silly hats
54. When he opens fire nothing survives
53. His ship has armour.
52. He lets Worf get violent
51. Not only did he help build the Defiant, but he can cook too
50. His son actually looks like him
49. He can get his unifroms tailored.
48. Destrying Klingon ships is a hobby
47. He has never been captured by the Cardies
46. O'Brien and Worf prefer him to Picard
45. When Admirals go crazy he holds them at phaser point. Picard just talks to them in a stern
voice
44. Starfleet listens to him instead of the other way around
43. He was prophecied
42. He has fought enemies that would make Kirk cringe.
41. If you are lying he will tell you so.
40. Sisko was scared once. He didn't like it and has never been since
39. He saves the Federation on a daily basis.
38. When someone betrays him he promises to hunt them to the ends of the universe
37. He knows what a hot dog is.
36. When he was only a commander he had the most powerful ship in the fleet
35. Death is scared of him.
34. Kirk has to slingshot around the sun. Janeway and Picard are sucked into temporal rifts.
Sisko has an orb that is safe, clean and quick.
33. He never had to steal his cloaking device
32. His XO looks good in leather.
31. Both Janeway and Picard have been stuck in the Delta Quadrant. Sisko knows better
30. He holds a grudge
29. He always shoots to kill
28. When he gets angry he makes Klingons cry
27. Sisko saved Kirk's life from a tribble
26. He is a major figure of Earth History.. twice. (Gabriel Bell and Ben Sisko).
25. Has crossed over into parallel universe. Not scared. Did it again.
24. Avery is by far the best first name of a ST Captain's actor.
23. Only person who doesn't get weak in the knees just looking at Terry Farrell
22. Only person on DS9 not afraid of Kira
21. Used to hang out with Curzon Dax
20. Can throw a killer fastball.
19. Is a GOOD Dad
18. He sets the fashions for the Federation (Generations - Voyager)
17. He beat ex-terrorist Bajoran military at guerrilla warfare (The Seige)
16. He'll never spend an episode wondering if he should have had a family
15. His security officer would have a reasonable explanation for growing a ponytail between
episodes
14. He underwent torture by dehydration in a Polo-neck! (Paradise)
13. He overturned centuries of Cardassian legal precedent by walking into a courtroom and
just looking at the judge (Tribunal)
12. Tests show, if he doesn't get his own way, he'll collapse the wormhole (The Search, Part
II)
11. When Picard falls in love, complex ethical reasons prevent him from continuing. When
Sisko fell in love, the only thing that stopped him was her being a figment of somebody
else's imagination (Second Sight)
10. He survived Wolf 359 without being on the Borg's side (Emissary)
9. Picard's entire command crew would NEVER all go to his quarters for a meal (Picard had
cooked himself (Equilibrium)
8. He trashed a gambling joint with his Science Officer (Rivals)
7. He's the equivalent of Moses in the Bajoran Religion
6. Omnipotent, shmomnipotent. He punched Q instead of hiding in his ready room. (Q-Less)
5. He shrugged of a Klingon's headbutt, roared, hit the Klingon off a console twice and
flipped him over his back (Invasive Procedures)
4. Nobody escapes from the Jem'Hadar. Except Sisko. Twice (The Jem'Hadar - The Search,
Part II)
3. Rearrange these words into a well known phrase or saying: Device, Cloaking (The Search,
Part I - Defiant)
2. Starfleet ordered Picard to take command of the Enterprise, Sisko ordered Stafleet to give
him the Defiant (The Search, Part I)
1. Picard is a major figure in the Federation, Sisko is a major figure in Earth history (Past
Tense, Part II)
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
In Soviet Russia,
Poem writes you.