sri, 15. studenog '06 u 22:58
EVO GLUPOSTI KOJE MI JE DAO FREND TREKI; (ima fakat ****nih stvari)
Znate li da... (mislim da nisu svi točni, ali su fora)
Da li znate da........
1) je nemoguce poljubiti vlastiti lakat.
2) je Coca-Cola originalno bila zelena.
3) je American Airlines ustedio $40,000 1987. godine vadeci po jednu maslinu iz svake salate koja je sluzena u prvoj klasi.
4) kvakanje patke ne radi jeku.
5) svaki kralj u kartama predstavlja jednog velikog kralja iz povijesti:
Pik: Kralj David
Tref: Aleksandar Veliki
Herc: Karlo Veliki
Karo: Julije Cezar
6) Pomnozi! 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
7) ako na statui, koja se nalazi u parku, konj ima obje prednje noge u zraku, osoba (koja je na konju) je poginula u borbi.
Ako je konju samo jedna prednja noga podignuta, osoba je umrla od rana zadobijenih u borbi.
Ako su konju sve cetiri noge na zemlji, osoba je umrla prirodnom smrcu.
Cool ime Jeep dolazi od americke vojne skracenice "General Purpose vehicle, G.P..
9) u Pentagonu ima duplo vise toaleta nego sto je potrebno. Kada su ga gradili, zakon je zahtijevao odvojene toalete za crnce i bijelce.
10) je nemoguce kihnuti otvorenih ociju.
11) desnjaci u prosjeku zive 9 godina duze nego ljevaci.
12) "Bubasvaba" moze zivjeti devet dana bez glave, prije nego sto umre OD GLADI.
13) su slonovi jedine zivotinje koje ne mogu skakati (srecom).
14) se jedna prosjecna osoba smije 15 puta dnevno.
15) komarci imaju zube.
16) su Miguel de Cervantes i William Shakespeare, koji se smatraju najvecim piscima u svojim zemljama, obojica umrli 23. ozujka 1616...
17) su trebala 22 stoljeca da se izracuna udaljenost izmedju Zemlje i Sunca (149,400,000 km). To bismo mnogo ranije znali da se netko sjetio pomnoziti sa 1,000,000,000 visinu Keopsove piramide u Gizi, koja je izgradjena 30 st.pr. rodjenja Isusa Krista.
1Cool u staroj Engleskoj ljudi nisu smjeli voditi ljubav bez odobrenja kralja (pogotovo ako se radilo o clanu kraljevske porodice).
Kada je par htio imati djecu, morali su zatraziti dozvolu monarha, koji bi im predao plocicu koju su zakacili na vrata od sobe dok su imali odnose. Na plocici je pisalo: "Fornication Under Consent of the King" (F.U.C.K.). Ovo je i porijeklo rijeci koju ste upravo procitali.
Nekoliko mudrih pitanja na koja nikada nije odgovoreno...
Je li potreban prigušivač za ubojstvo pantomimičara?
Kako se na travi postavljaju natpisi: "Ne gazi po travi!"?
Kako ćemo znati je li riječ u rječniku krivo napisana?
Ako suncokretovo ulje nastaje od suncokreta, od čega nastaje bebi-ulje?
Ako je vani 0 stupnjeva, a sutra će biti dvostruko hladnije, koliko će biti stupnjeva?
Ako je čovjek nastao od majmuna, zašto još uvijek majmuni postoje?
Ako Superman može blokirati metke prsima, zašto se sagne kad u filmu tip na njega baci pištolj? Da, još nešto. Ako je tako pametan, zašto nosi gaće na hlače?
Ako vegetarijanci tako vole životinje, zašto im pojedu svu hranu?
Ako te tvoj klon ubije, je li to onda samoubojstvo?
Što napraviti kada vidite da zaštićena životinja jede zaštićene biljke?
Zašto se ovce ne stisnu kada pada kiša?
Zašto su kamikaze nosile pilotske kacige?
Zašto ljudi kad su baterije u daljinskom slabe uvijek jače pritišću gumbiće?
u liftu za raditi: (ovom mi je preopako)
1. Kada je pored tebe samo jedna osoba, lupni je po leđima pa se pravi da nisi ti.
2. Pritisni gumb i pravi se da te udarila struja.
3. Zadrži vrata otvorena i reci da čekas prijatelja. Par sekundi kasnije zatvori vrata (praveći se da je netko ušao) i kaži: "E,di si buraz, šta ima.."
4. Ponesi foto-aparat i slikaj sve prisutne.
5. Pravi se da si steward. Prisutnima objasni postupak u slučaju opasnosti i na kraju im poželi sretan put.
6. Kad se vrata zatvore kaži prisutnima: "Bez panike, opet će se otvoriti."
7. Lupaj glavom o zid i viči: "Umuknite svi! Ušutite već jednom!"
8. Simuliraj zvukove eksplozije svaki put kad netko pritisne gumb.
9. Cerekaj se i bulji u nekog putnika,a onda mu debilnim glasom kaži: "Imam nove čarapeeee.."
10. Imitiraj zvukove Formule 1 kad god netko uđe u lift.
11. Ispuši nos i pokaži sadržaj svoje maramice ostalim putnicima.
12. Zviždući prvu strofu "Lijepe naše", neprestano.
13. Nasloni se na nekog i šapni mu: "Dolazi policija!"
14. Namršti se i mumljaj: "Moram u WC, moram u WC", a onda uzdahni i reci: "ups!"
15. Vikni:"Čuvaaaaj!" svaki put kad lift krene prema dole.
16. Zaderi se:"Ding!",kad god lift stane na nekom katu.
17. Ako se netko oćeše o tebe, lupi ga po ruci i reci: "šuga!"
18. Skidaj rukom nevidljive bube sa sebe i vrisni: "Aaaa! Skinite ih s mene!"
19. Sumnjičavo onjuši osobu do sebe, napravi zgađenu facu i pomakni se.
20. Kad lift krene prema gore, počni skakati i jako lupaj nogama o pod, uzvikujući: "Dole, rekao sam dole!"
21. Cerekaj se histerično desetak sekundi, prestani i onda se zagledaj u ostale kao da su nenor
Things you just couldn't make it through the day not knowing!!:
Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball.
If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but
more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the
bottom.
The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
If your eyes are six feet above the surface of the ocean, the horizon
will be about three statute miles away.
The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford
English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
The only other word with the same amount of letters is
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural.
Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the
largest anagrams.
Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de
los Angeles de Porciuncula."
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
The band Duran Duran got their name from an astronaut in the 1968 Jane
Fonda movie "Barbarella."
Cleo and Caesar were the early stage names of Cher and Sonny Bono.
Ben and Jerry's send the waste from making ice cream to local pig
farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint
Oreo.
The company providing the liability insurance for the Republican
National Convention in San Diego is the same firm that insured the
maiden voyage of HMS Titanic.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
Dr. Samuel A. Mudd was the physician who set the leg of Lincoln's
assassin John Wilkes Booth...and whose shame created the expression for
ignominy, "His name is Mudd."
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War
II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty
Rubble's maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II
who fathered 160 children.
If NASA sent birds into space they would soon die; they need gravity in order to
swallow.
Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood
donors.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the
cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life."
It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The
frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling from
its mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all the
stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach down again.
Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they
rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.
White Out was invented by the mother of Mike Nesmith (formerly of the
Monkees).
Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar
with "Midnight Cowboy." Her entire role lasted only six minutes.
Charles Lindbergh took only four sandwiches with him on his famous
trans-Atlantic flight.
Goethe couldn't stand the sound of barking dogs and could write only if
he had an apple rotting in the drawer of his desk.
Gilligan of "Gilligan's Island" had a first name that was used only once,
on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was Willy. The skipper's
real name was Jonas Grumby. It was mentioned once
in the first episode on a radio newscast about the wreck.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they
could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.
The "L.L." in L.L. Bean stands for Leon Leonwood.
Ivory bar soap's ability to float was a mistake. Manufacturers overmixed the
soap formula, causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customers
sent letters of approval, and the soap has floated ever since.
The saying "it's so cold it could freeze the balls off a
brass monkey" referred to cannons like those used in the
Civil War. The cannonballs were stacked in a pyramid, called
a brass monkey. When it got extremely cold outside they would crack
and break. Thus the saying.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or
it will digest itself.
The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows."
The phrase "rule of thumb" is said by some to be derived from an old English law
which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your
thumb.
"101 Dalmatians" and "Peter Pan" are the only two Disney cartoon
features where both parents are present and don't die during the movie.
The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland's
baby daughter, Ruth.
A whale's penis is called a dork.
Armadillos have four babies at a time that are always the same gender.
Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can contract Hansen's
Disease (leprosy).
Reindeer like to eat bananas.
Physicist Murray Gell-Mann named the sub-atomic particles known as
quarks for a random line in James Joyce, "Three quarks for Muster Mark!"
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
The phrase "sleep tight" derives from the fact that early mattresses
were filled with straw and supported by rope stretched across the
bedframe. A tight sleep was a comfortable sleep.
i za kraj par fora sigova
"If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter Oneself over a wide area."
Work is the curse of the drinking classes
'I remember when the internet only had a few pages, and they all worked' - 'Sure, Grampa...'
As Asimov put it many years back, 'Major scientific discoveries don't generally start with "Eureka!", they start with "That's funny..."'
ClipclopclipclopBANGBANGclipclopclip -- Amish driveby shooting
"When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend." - Advanced weapon training, Detritus style; Terry Pratchett, Night Watch
665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded!
I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
zvucni zid...hmm, zvucni zid, pa to je nekakav zid iz kojega se nesto cuje, jeli, sto onda znaci da u njemu nesto postoji, jelte, bivstvuje."
Onaj tko se zadnji smije, najvjerojatnije je napravio backup
Murphy(c)
Duck, you sucker!
Nije bas onako mokru, ipak je lakat okrenut na drugu stranu, ali pusica jeste!
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