Za sve metalce (posebno za Derexu)

Definitions with the assistance of a dragon, a princess and a metal-protagonist:


HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks
some beers and f**ks the princess


POWER METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the
dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest


GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and
lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the
castle in a beautiful pink color


TRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and
f**ks her....... easy and quick



FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins,
flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess


VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy
axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle
and burns the place before he leaves


DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f**ks the princess and
kills her, then leaves


GRIND METAL:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable
for about 2 minutes and then leaves...


BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it
in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her
blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the
deflowered princess


GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the
front of the castle, f**ks the princess and kills her....then he f**ks
again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, f**ks
the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f**ks it for the
last time

INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene
gesture towards the dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by
security guards.


DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that
he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as well


SPEED METAL:
The Dragon and the Princess are wondering why they suddenly feel so deflowered.
In the distance they see a dustcloud of the protagonist speeding away.


PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes,
the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to
the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques
learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes,
and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

ovo mi je bilo smiješno prije nekih godinu dana kad sam prvi put vidio.. old news.....

BLACK METAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

znam da sam to davno vidio na rpg.centru, i onda sam e odvalio na progressive

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes,
the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to
the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques
learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes,
and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

ROTFL! A ovo mi je najjače: The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves... To je bio uvijek moj opis grind bendova. Vrišti, grglja, riga nešto i gotova pjesma.

Anyway, sve pogođeno, pa i za progressive metal. Nekad sam sve žive i nežive prog-metal bendove slušao, ali zbilja, jedini koji su mi ostali zanimljivi su Dream Theater. Ostali, kao u opisu. Misle da su zanimljivi i upola dobri kao DT, a dosadni su i upola dobri kao Myungov (ili čiji hoćete) lijevi nožni prst. Tako da što se tiče progressivea, puno su zanimljiviji i originalniji prog rock bendovi. Webesh metal. Kad sam ga počeo slušat, jedan tip što se bavi jazzom mi je rekao da ću prestat slušat metal za najviše 5 godina. Ja bio nadobudan i rekao no chance, a prestao ga slušat za 2 godine.

jako dobro jako dobro.... svaka cast

Old news indeed. But still funny.

MathewSkywalker

Anyway, sve pogođeno, pa i za progressive metal.

Istina...gro bendova čita riječ progressive ko license to wank...mislim nije da imam nešto protiv wankinga ali 48 minutni solo na gitari/keysima nije moja definicija zabave...iako imam thingy za bas solaže o.o Istina jedini koji stvarno vrijede u prog-metalu su DT, prog rock ko King Krimson, Gentle Giant etc.owns them all.

BTW Matt pogledaj ( ako već nisi ) Chroma Key...solo projekt Kevina Moorea, meni se jako svidjelo ( al opet ja sam keys fan..)

Epyon

MathewSkywalker

Anyway, sve pogođeno, pa i za progressive metal.

Istina...gro bendova čita riječ progressive ko license to wank...mislim nije da imam nešto protiv wankinga ali 48 minutni solo na gitari/keysima nije moja definicija zabave...iako imam thingy za bas solaže o.o Istina jedini koji stvarno vrijede u prog-metalu su DT, prog rock ko King Krimson, Gentle Giant etc.owns them all.

BTW Matt pogledaj ( ako već nisi ) Chroma Key...solo projekt Kevina Moorea, meni se jako svidjelo ( al opet ja sam keys fan..)

Poslušao još prije njihovu pjesmu "On the page" i onako, nije loše, ali mi nije ništa ekstra posebno. BTW To je Kevin nakon što se pobunio i prešao na dark side osnovao svoj bend.

MathewSkywalkerROTFL! A ovo mi je najjače: The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves... To je bio uvijek moj opis grind bendova. Vrišti, grglja, riga nešto i gotova pjesma.

Anyway, sve pogođeno, pa i za progressive metal. Nekad sam sve žive i nežive prog-metal bendove slušao, ali zbilja, jedini koji su mi ostali zanimljivi su Dream Theater. Ostali, kao u opisu. Misle da su zanimljivi i upola dobri kao DT, a dosadni su i upola dobri kao Myungov (ili čiji hoćete) lijevi nožni prst. Tako da što se tiče progressivea, puno su zanimljiviji i originalniji prog rock bendovi. Webesh metal. Kad sam ga počeo slušat, jedan tip što se bavi jazzom mi je rekao da ću prestat slušat metal za najviše 5 godina. Ja bio nadobudan i rekao no chance, a prestao ga slušat za 2 godine.

bas sam nedavno vidio shemu Portnoyevog "siemese monster"... omfg, lik je spojio dva seta bubnjeva u jedno....strasno... da ne pricam o sviranju:bow:

GORE METAL über alles, svida mi se messy pristup rijesavanju problema. splat, squish, gnjec

Ma Trash i Power metal su najzesci.

Je li netko možda opisivao mene!?!


GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the
front of the castle, f**ks the princess and kills her....then he f**ks
again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, f**ks
the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f**ks it for the
last time

Darth SuperiourusJe li netko možda opisivao mene!?!


GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the
front of the castle, f**ks the princess and kills her....then he f**ks
again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, f**ks
the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f**ks it for the
last time

ne, opisivali su mene.
I deconstruct your anatomy
For you - a premature autopsy
For me - a lesson in pathology
Postmortem performed haphazardly
Draining ichor sprays erratically
Forensick medicine is lost on me
I need a lesson in pathology

Evo i prijevoda, kopirao sam ga s jednog foruma.

GRIND METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi, pocne vristat nesto potpuno nesuvislo oko 2 minute i onda ode...

POWER /SYMPHONIC METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi jasuci na bijelom jednorogu, bjezeci od zmaja, spasava princezu i onda oni vode ljubav u zacaranoj sumi…

THRASH METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi, bori se sa zmajem, spasava princezu i posevi je….brzo i jednostavno…


HEAVY METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi na Harley Davidsonu, ubija zmaja, popije par pivi i po**** princezu…

FOLK METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi s prijateljima sviart harmoniku, vijolinu, flautu i jos puno slicnih instrumenata, zmaj utone u san, a glavni lik ode bez princeze…

VIKING METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi s brodom, ubija zmaja sa svojom mocnom sjekirom, skuha ga i pojede, zatim siluje princezu do smrti, pokrade cijeli dvorac i onda ga zapali prije nego sta ode…

DEATH METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi, ubija zmaja, posevi princezu, onda je ubije i tek onda ode…

BLACK METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi u ponoc, ubije zmaja i nabije ga na kolac ispred dvorca....onda siluje i osakati princezu, ritualno ispije njenu krv prije nego sta je ubije.....i onda ju razdjevicenu nabije na kolac…

GORE METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi, ubije zmaja i razbaca mu iznutrice oko dvorca, po**** princezu i ubije ju....onda ju opet **** mrtvu, rascjepa joj trbuh i pojede iznutrice, po**** lesinu treci put, spali ga i po**** zadnji put…

DOOM METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi, pogleda zmaja kako je velik i pomisli kako ga nikad nece uspjet ubit, padne u depresiju i napravi samoubojstvo....zmaj pojede njegovo tijelo, a i princezu…

PROGRESIVE METAL:
Glavni lik upadne s gitarom i pocne svirat solo od 26 minuta, zmaj ubije sam sebe od dosade, glavni lik uleti u princezinu sobu, odsvira i drugi solo sa svim tehnikama koje je zadnjih godina naucio na akademiji... princeza pobjegne, trazeci "HEAVY METAL" glavnog lika…

GLAM METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi, zmaj se pocne smijat njegovom izgledu i pusti ga da udje, glavni lik ukrade make-up od princeze i pokusa obojat cijeli dvorac u prekrasnu rozu boju…

INDUSTRIAL METAL:
Glavni lik dolazi sa prljavim, zasranim i masnim kaputom na sebi, napravi neki sugav pokret rukom prema zmaju, uhvati ga straza i izmlati ga u bajkovitom vrtu dvorca…

ma nema do gorchine i grindare...i malo bleka

Very funny. You forgot Nu metal

Nu metal nije metal... Bar po meni nije nesto vrijedno spomena...

Aiden NightflyerNu metal nije metal... Bar po meni nije nesto vrijedno spomena...

Ma progresiva je zakon, hebes princezu, uzmes solazu i briga te za druge ljude....: P