SW zafrkancija

Otvorila sam ovu temu kako bi se sva SW zafrkancija koju netko ima doma ili ju je našao na netu mogla pronać na jednom mjestu... I to samo za vašu zabavu....

Ok pošto na temi Zafrkancija ima nekih dijelova sa SW zafrkancijom ja cu pokušat sve to pronać i postat ih tu...

Ali najprije da ljudi imaju nešro za čitat...

Everything a Chick Needs to Know She Can Learn From Star Wars

Be careful who you kiss -- you never know when they could turn out to be your brother.
Always wear lots of lip gloss.
Be prepared to save your own skin if two men are doing the rescuing.
Chances are they'll cut off your only escape route and you'll have to jump into the nearest garbage chute (not good for your senatorial gown).
Do not discuss things in a committee.
Always have a new outfit for every occasion.
Obi-Wan is sooo dern cute!
Nothin' beats having an old blaster at your side.
Every hairstyle should resemble a pastry.
Be wary of men with double-bladed lightsabers.
Even if you are a Queen, there will always be some man trying to tell you what to do.
Size matters not.
Sometimes we need a scoundrel in our lives.
Always be "charming to the last".
If you don't want to hold hands with a guy, tell him your hands are dirty.
Remember: You're a princess. You're brother is only a farmer.
Never say "I'd rather kiss a Wookie". You never know when one might be nearby.
You can out-shoot and out-maneuver any man you know in the Rebellion that you lead...but be sure to scream and run when you see a Mynock.
Lando's not a system. He's a man.
Never trust a guy who greets you with "Well, well, well. What have we here?"
Don't over do it (as per Obi-Wan's comment to Qui-Gon in TPM).
Be nice to slave boys... you could wind up bearing their children.
Just because a man is frozen in carbonite doesn't mean he isn't sexy.
When a path is set before your child, only he can choose whether or not to take it.
If your brother-in-law is a Jedi and your ward goes to study with him, watch out! Your moisture farm is going to get it.
Red is an acceptable color for a beauty mark.
Do not condone a course of action that will lead your people to war.
Do not sign any treaty.
Don't throw out your old Boussh suit. You never know when you might need it to get into Jabba's palace and rescue someone frozen in carbonite.
Always fly directly into an asteroid field to lose pesky Imperials.
When lost on Endor, let an Ewok lead the way.
Have a devoted body guard that looks exactly like you nearby at all times.
Kissing your brother is a sure way to make another man jealous.
Invest in strong styling products for those demanding and complicated hairstyles.
Never say you hope you'll be there when the guy flying the ship screws up.
The size and style of your hair is directly proportional to your rank as royalty and your attitude. The larger and more exotic your hair is, the more attitude you have and the higher on the ranking as royalty. To be a queen you must have extraordinarily big hair. To be a princess you can settle for the danish on each ear look.
Note foul stenches, they usually indicate disaster.
Men are rarely in it just for the money, but maybe just for you.
If your promotion is the result of a long distance choking, resign.
Negotiations are short.
Watch out for little boys with no fathers, they can grow up to be problems.
Never underestimate the power of SW.
When you're not sure whether you're going to kill someone or like them, chances are, you're in love.
When someone you want kisses you, run away.
Always have a metal Bikini on hand when visiting a slug.
When in doubt, Obi-Wan IS your only hope
It never hurts to know how to use a blaster, especially when being rescued by a wookie and a scruffy looking nerf-herder.
Having Christmas lights around the hem of your dress is a fashion statement.
Always have extra clothing on your transport, even if you can't use it to trade for a new hyperdrive. You'll still look great!
There's no such thing as a bad hair day.
If you're mad at a scoundrel, call him scruffy-looking. It's a sure fire way to get a reaction.
Be sure to have a spare blaster hidden away somewhere on your throne. You will never know when you'll have to threaten a Viceroy.
Remember to keep a few handmaidens around. You might need to use one as a decoy.
Don't get upset when Darth Maul ends up dead, we still have Obi-Wan!
Faith in your friends is only a weakness if you're one of the bad guys.
You can always trust a Jedi who's from the United Kingdom.
No matter how cute they are, hanging around with guys who are strong in the ways of the Force will eventually lead to trouble from all corners of the galaxy.
Remember, the only way to survive "road rage" on the highway, during rush hour, is to "concentrate on the moment. Feel Don't think. Use your instincts."
Big hair = big brains.
Scruffy-lookin' is as scruffy-lookin' does.
If a hunky Jedi knight makes a pass at you and you want him to think you're pure---make up a story about how you had a baby without a father.
Being held by Captain Solo is quite enough to get me excited.
Being "Daddy's Girl" is not always a good thing, especially when he's a member of the Dark Side.
When asked where the Rebel Base is, no matter how you answer it's a lose lose situation.
White Nail Polish goes with every Royal Gown.
Take the long way. (It's safer, and a guy with a double blade lightsaber is blocking the other path.)
My place is here, my future is here.
Some how, you've always known.
It helps to have a Jedi nearby when you are in trouble. If you see one and you are in trouble latch on to him or her.
Be careful of Sith Lords, you never know when one may be your father.
Don't presume too much--you never know when you're talking to royalty.
If you feel the need to say "I've got a bad feeling about this," there's probably a reason.
Hyperspace isn't like dusting crops.
Space is cold, but Jedi make it warmer.
With Sith, there are always two--no more, no less--but sometimes you can't tell who's the Master.
See through you we can.
It isn't all Obi-Wan's fault!
Always in motion the future is.
Your overconfidence is your weakness.
Don't turn up the heater when you are on Hoth. You'll never be able to dry out your things.
If it smells bad on the outside, it's worse on the inside.
Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
Be assertive ("I don't know who you are or where you came from but from now on, you'll do what I tell you to!")
Always keep food in one of your belt pouches. If you run into some cute teddy-bear like creature, it could save your life.
You take it back; you didn't REALLY want to be around when he made a mistake.
If a stormtrooper looks too short to be a stormtrooper, he probably isn't one.
Equal-rights for women disappeared right along with the Old Republic.
Nothing sucks more than having a guy prematurely fire his torpedos before he gets to your exhaust port.
At full throttle, Luke CAN pull out in time.
Be careful, people may be watching your career with great interest.
Never trust perceptions.
Even a slave can lead the universe.
Follow your heart, which may lead you away from the "rules" and your Padawan's beliefs.
If a man is known for staying in the background, but his clothes are as flashy as yours, he wants something.
No matter how hungry you are, don't reach for a dead animal set up on a stick it might make get you hung up.
Leave the Gungan alone for one second...( Self explanantory. *S* )
Remember: "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!"
He won't always be nine-years-old.
When on Hoth always wear you're thermal underwear.
Don't ever talk to a guy named Darth (no matter how cute he is).
If you're stuck on a slow moving spaceship with a gorgeous scoundrel, turn OFF the protocol droid!
If you see someone walking down the street looking like Obi, girl what are you waiting for!? Go after him!
Never talk down to little green guys in swamps...who knows? They maybe powerful Jedi Masters!
A little faith goes a long way.
The Force will be with you. Always.
Always be stubborn and independent--unless your ship is surrounded by Mynoks. In this case, run to the nearest scoundrel.
Playing hard-to-get really works!
Always have a backup plan cause mind tricks don't work on Hutts or Toydarians.
Concentrate on the moment, but be mindful of the future.
Never let them sense your fear.
Never make a bargain with a Sith Lord.
There's always a bigger fish.
Be careful of bounty hunters that unfreeze you from carbonite. They may not all be "Someone who loves you."
Never Say "Kiss my Wookiee" to a Warlord.
Let the Wookie win.
When you can't get to your transport, there's always the Falcon.
Go see the sights for yourself and let the decoy stay on the ship.
Be careful when you trust your son to a Jedi, who knows who he'll grow up to be.
It's OK to be afraid sometimes, but don't let your fears control you. There won't always be a Jedi on hand to save you.
Never go near a man with horns on his head and a double-bladed lightsabre who's got an obsession with facial tatoos. He's bound to be trouble.
Never trust the guys wearing black leather.
Watch out, there could be people coming through your south entrance.
Always bring a droid with you. If you encounter alien species who think the droid is a god but think you are dinner, it could save your life.
NEVER try to handcuff a Wookie (unless you're their best buddy, and they owe you a life-debt.)
Trust little green guys...help you, they will!
When asked to leave the planet always look to your queen in handmaiden disguise for an answer.
If you want to keep your friend warm, stick em in a dead animal.
There's ALWAYS a bigger hairdo.
The odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field are approximately 3,720 to 1...but who's listening anyhow?
Your apologies may be accepted...but you might not live to see it.
Never trust a dark Jedi who's best friend is the evil Emporer Palpatine; with your best friend and his Wookie's life. You're gonna getting really injured by someone, no matter what!
If you see a evil looking emperor raise his fingers at you.... RUN!
If you are going to do something that will go down in history as notoriously evil, never have air vents big enough for anything but a rat to get through!
The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.

Things Luke could've said to "Luke, I am your father."

1. What did you say?
2. Can I borrow the Executor?
3. I fail to see any resemblance between you and I.
4. Does mom know?
5. You owe me some birthday presents.
6. You are a walking toaster. I am not.
7. Child abuse! Child abuse!
8. If you're my dad, why did you just hack off my hand?
9. NOW you tell me.
10. Daddy!

TOP 10 IMPERIAL BUMPER STICKERS

10. REAL PILOTS WEAR BLACK
9. MY KID ARRESTED YOUR HONOR STUDENT
8. JOIN US!
7. TIE FIGHTER PILOTS' UNION, LOCAL THX-1138
6. IMPERIALAS DO IT IN FORMATION
5. ONLY WIMPS HAVE SHIELDS
4. THAT'S NO MOON...I'LL SHOW YOU A MOON!
3. MY OTHER SHIP IS "THE EXECUTOR"
2. I BRAKE FOR...I DON'T HAVE BRAKES! AAAAAHH!
1. IF YOU AIN'T A DARK LORD, YOU AIN'T SITH (Darth Vader only)


TOP 10 REBEL BUMPER STICKERS

10. IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM, RAM 'EM!
9. REMEMBER ALDERAAN
8. IF YOU CAN'T BE GOOD, BE CAREFUL
7. IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE TOO CLOSE. LOOSEN UP!
6. MY R2 UNIT SAYS "PPBBBT" TO YOUR SFS TARGETING COMPUTER!
5. IF YOU OUTLAW BLASTERS, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE BLASTERS
4. _I_ HAVE SHIELDS
3. STAY ON TARGET!
2. I AM _NOT_ THE SQUADRON LEADER. SHOOT SOMEONE ELSE
1. I FLEW THE DEATH STAR ASSAULT, AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY BUMPER STICKER

Eto da sad ne ispadne da sam totalno ja zakupila ovu temu ljudi ajde sad vi malo....

mirisem li ovdje zelju za vecim post countom? ajde oprastam ovaj put, samo se nadaj da ostali modovi nisu lose volje

TOP TEN SURPRISES GEORGE LUCAS HAS PLANNED FOR NEW STAR WARS TRILOGY

10. Luke and Leia named after their mother's favorite talk-show hosts
9. When first hatched, baby Rancors look almost exactly like Barney
8. Let's just say that Anakin Skywalker was no great looker even before he fell in the lava pit
7. Luke and Leia's mother to by played by Shannen Dogherty
6. By federal law, new theme music must be composed by Danny Elfman
5. Clone Wars erupted after unethical scientist filled a tropical island with genetically engineered dinosaurs
4. Part of young Obi-Wan Kenobi to by played by Jim Carrey
3. We'll finally get to hear the lavish musical numbers cut from earlier films
2. If you look closely during the last five minutes of the second film, you can see brand-new Millenium Falcon being sold to
Lando Calrissian's uncle
1. Many Bothans will die to bring us these films

@Jade: strpaj u jednu poruku ubuduće.

Reciklirani materijal iz stare teme.

http://www.starwars.pl/humor/klasyczna/fool.jpg
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/klasyczna/pack-yoda.jpg
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/klasyczna/stereo.jpg
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http://www.starwars.pl/humor/klasyczna/flyboy.jpg
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/klasyczna/whisky_yoda.jpg
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/klasyczna/piggy.jpg
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/klasyczna/reset_death_star.jpg
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/tpm/youvegotmaul.jpg
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/tpm/y2k.gif
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/kielo/sixth.jpg
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/kielo/finger.jpg
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/kielo/3pigs.jpg
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/kielo/kiss.jpg
http://www.starwars.pl/humor/kielo/communication_disruption.jpg

http://www.onegreatfamily.com/images/frontend/vader450wide.jpg
http://www.georgettesworld.com/main/vader-stormtrooper-ad.jpg
http://www.georgettesworld.com/main/picarchive.html

http://www.gazettetimes.com/articles/2004/02/22/entertainment/columnists/night_rider/tenpas.txt


How to tell if you're a Star Wars geek



1. When you pass out while trying to move a pencil across the desk with the Force.

2. When you get jealous of Luke because his lightsaber is double the size of yours.

3. You found this page with intentions of locating the Star Wars "greek" club.

4. You would love to have Frank Oz stick his hand up your ass so you can be as wise as Yoda.

5. When you get into a fight, you automatically find yourself reaching for a lightsaber...

6. If you get your head stuck in a bucket pretending your Darth Vader.

7. When you spend time watching the Star Wars trilogy because you think there will be a test on it later.

8. You punch out trekkies who say: "Death star my ass, I'd like to see those losers take out DS9."

9. With a blue-tinted plastic tube, a flashlight, two hours of a Saturday night, and 4 rolls of blue electrical tape, you finally complete your own working "Lightsaber."

10. Your room is filthy except for your "Star Wars Area."

11. You put on a luminous coloured condom and walk around humming, pretending you're a lightsaber.

12. You name your right hand "Leia".

13. You waste three hours and 8,000 brain cells a day coming up with jokes for this page.

14. You think you are the life of the party because you imitate Yoda's voice and have him say things a Jedi master wouldn't say.

15. Whenever you get in trouble, you mutter, "I have a bad feeling about this."

16. When you listen for Obi-Wan while attempting to parallel park.

17. When your father asks you how fast your car is, you reply: "Fast enough for you, old man."

18. When you need to go to the toilet, you say: "Intensify Forward firepower, I don't want anything to get through."

19. You ram a model X-Wing up someone else's asshole and congratulate yourself for finding the only weak spot.

20. Your girlfriend is called "Jabba the Slut."

21. You don't have any money to buy food or clothes but you have a kick-ass STAR WARS collection.

22. You swear you saw Obi-Wan in your Cheerios.

23. You get caught doing your Darth Vader impression in the bathroom. (what are you doing in there son? *heavy breathing* YOUR POWERS ARE WEAK OLD MAN!!!!)

24. When you wake up screaming, "Luke it's a trap!"

25. You know you're a Star Wars geek when you unsuccessfully get the last cheerio in the bowl and instinctively mutter, "The Force is strong in this one."

26. You start to see visions of Ben Kenobi telling you to go to bed.

27. When you spend eight hours at the library printing this crap out over and over...

28. When your girlfriend says you have a small dick and you say "You underestimate the power of the Force."

29. You find yourself getting beaten up for saying everyone's lines 2 seconds before they do in the theatre.

30. When... Your first sentence was "I have a bad feeling about this."

31. When you find yourself quoting the opening lines of "A New Hope"...and don't stop until 125 minutes later.

32. You curse out people that go, "Yeah! I know who Obi-Wan Kenobi is! Isn't he that guy with the funky ears that goes, "Live Long and Prosper?"

33. You punch out people that say, "But I thought Han Solo flew the Enterprise?"

34. You can't resist to hum when you turn on a flashlight.

35. Before sex, you look at your penis and say "Get in there, you furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"

36. You're a Star Wars geek when your teacher hands you your test back and says "commas are your weakness." You shoot back: "And your faith in your friends is yours!"

37. When someone talks about people getting abducted by little green men you say, "Yoda would never do such a thing!"

38. You actually feel the need to attack Star Wars geeks with a camera to prove that you are not of their kind.

39. After looking at your tiny dick you remember Yoda's saying: "Size matters not."

40. When, you're drunker than you've ever been in your life and still know that the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is 3,720 to one.

41. You buy two copies of the trilogy just so you could have the full Darth Vader Helmet.

42. You've watched the trilogy more times than Mark Hammil.

43. When you heard of Titanic getting more money than Star Wars, you immediately reached for your home-made lightsaber and started a hunt for James Cameron.

44. You respond to your friends taunting of "HA! HA! Titanic beat Star Wars!" by clenching your teeth and grunting "We'll get 'em in the prequels"

45. You sabotage the Titanic theatre to play Star Wars: A New Hope when the ship starts to sink.

46. You call in bomb threats every time Titanic starts playing and then start giggling uncontrollably when you watch the people running out.

47. You finally figure out that ANH rearranged is Han

48. You point out to people that given inflation Star Wars kicked Titanic's Ass by nearly 300 million.

49. When your boss forwards all of your checks to the local Star Wars supplier.

50. The first thing you think of when you hear the words "hot, wet and horny" is a sweating bantha.

51. During sex, you're still rearranging the figures on your shelf.

52. You stand up a date to put jokes on this page.

53. You go to Star Wars conventions with the sole purpose of getting laid.

54. You wake up with a hangover, blood on your hands and a ripped t-shirt that says "Trekkies forever!"

55. You have a tan line from your Darth Vader helmet.

56. At the airport, when the clerk asks you if anyone else has handled your bag you say, "No, it's just me, the boy, two droids...and no questions asked."

57. When you're stuck doing f**kin 'yoga' classes because of a misprint on the advertisement.

58. Before sex, you say: "This may smell bad kid, but it will keep you warm."



Lines from Star Wars that can be improved if you substitute the word "Pants" for key words

We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.

The pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.

I find your lack of pants disturbing.

These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.

Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!

General Veers, prepare your pants for a ground assault.

I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.

TK-421... Why aren't you in your pants?

Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.

You are unwise to lower your pants.

She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.

Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

You look strong enough to pull the pants of a Gundark.

Luke... Help me remove these pants.

Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!

A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.

Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.

Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially one... Your sister!

Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

Short pants are better than no pants at all.

******

Sexual Star Wars Trilogy Lines

A NEW HOPE


'She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.'

'Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!'

'Look at the size of that thing!'

'Sorry about the mess...'

'You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.'

'Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?'

'You've got something jammed in here real good.'

'Put that thing away before you get us all killed.'

'Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?'

'Get in there, you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!'

'She's fast enough for you, old man.'


THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK


'I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?'

'That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while.'

'Hurry up, golden-rod..'

'I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me.'

'There's an awful lot of moisture in here.'

'Possible, he came through the south entrance.'

'But now we must eat, Come...good food, come...'

'Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?'

'And I thought they smelled bad on the outside.'

'Control, control, you must learn control!'


RETURN OF THE JEDI


'There is good in him, I've felt it.'

'Hey Luke, thanks for coming after me, now I owe you one.'

'You're a jittery little thing aren't you?'

'In time you will call me master.'

'A little higher, just a little higher.'

'I never knew I had it in me.'

'Grab it, almost..you almost got it. Gently now, alright, easy, easy...'

'Hey, point that thing someplace else!'

'What could possibly have come over Master Luke?'

'Back door, huh? Good idea!'

*********

Things You'll Never Hear Darth Vader Say


If this is a consular ship, could you please tell the ambassador to come out of hiding so we could discuss this like civilized beings?

Has anyone seen my inhaler?

Impressive...most impressive. Can you do that again?

You should not have come back. But, since you're here, let's shake hands and call it even.

But I was going into Toshi station to pick up some power converters!

Man, this armor chafes.

Luke, do you ever get that not-so fresh feeling?

Wow! Neat!

What does that button do?

I'm hungry. Let's get a taco.

Oh man! I just shot Cpt. Needa in the face! Needa's dead, baby. Needa's dead.

Here's looking at you, kid.

Are you the keymaster?

Well, excuuuuuuuuuse me!

*******

Things You'll Never Hear Yoda Say


What expect you from someone 900 years old? English perfect???

Size matters not...hey, what are you laughing at?

Lift THAT ship?! You must be out of your mind

I cannot teach him. IQ of 30 has he. Hangs upside down in ice caves.

Duct Tape...the Force it is like. Both a light side and a dark side it has. Binds the universe together it does!

Remember all that stuff Obi-Wan taught you? Forget it.

Yeah, well oneness with the universe doesn't put food on the plate, junior.

No...there is another. Let's hope as stupid, she is not.

Never underestimate the powers of the dark side. Or is that Regis Philbin?

I cannot teach him. Land an X-wing, he cannot even.

Never underestimate the power of the dark side... or duct tape.

Yeah yeah. Force this!

Anger, fear, merchandising...the Dark Side are they!

I didn't want this job! I wanted Marlon Brando's role in 'Apocalypse Now!'

No Force? Take this, impudent nonbeliever! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So how did you like the funhouse in the cave, Luke?

Quite frankly, Mr. Skywalker, if Obi-Wan wasn't dead, I'd have him expelled.

Oh, yes, well if you're going could you take this robe to the cleaners for me? I've been wearing it for over 800 years on this stinkhole and it doesn't... Oh, judge me on my smell, will you?

Well it may be spooky, but it saves cost on burial plots and it beats cremation.

Luke, don't ask what the Force can do for you.. But what you can do for the Force.

*****

http://www.moscroatia.com/tekstovi.asp?tekst=20&naslov=Scenarij+filma+Empajr+strajks+bek

*****

Kako ispeći Ewoka

1. Get your ass to Endor. Be sure to bring serious firepower-- these little buggers are tenacious!

2. Wear good green forest camouflage, not day-glow white StormTrooper armor, or you're a sitting duck.

3. Set up a trap. Lie in wait in a hidden blind. Bait your Ewok with chum, a candy bar, a human head-- something sure to attract a hungry little furball.

4. Unload every round you've got into the sucker! They're TOUGH! Why, in a recent battle with the Empire, they beat an entire garrison and only lost a single Ewok! Be careful not to damage the tender flanks.

5. Remove any greasy, unsavory rags it may be wearing. Burn the fur off. Gut your prize! Keep the heart and liver, and take the head as your trophy. Seal the head in carbonite if available. Carefully cut your flank steaks!

6. Slap those steaks on the plasma grill and cook thoroughly-- raw Ewok is poisonous! Slather on the A1 sauce, garnish with Hutt-butter, and invite an Alderaanian to dinner!

*****

Top Ten Reasons the Millenium Falcon Breaks Down

10. Wookie hair tangled in the motor
9. Han never bought quality hydrospanners from 'Sears'
8. It started life as an electric can-opener, until Lando made a few
'adjustments'...
7. It cannot work while being scared of those big worm things in asteroids!
6. C-3PO insulted it by saying it didn't know how to communicate
5. Luke insulted it by calling it a peice of junk
4. The camera for the movie didn't get the ship's good side, so it quit
3. The ship's computer is in reality a Sega Genesis
2. Who wants to go to hyperspace anyway?!?
1. The Falcon was made in America!


Top Ten Things they should've taught at the Stormtrooper Academy

10. How to hit a target. Any target.
9. It's okay to shoot if a Correlian smuggler comes running at you and
a dozen of your friends, screaming at the top of his lungs.
8. Never allow yourself to be promoted to anything past Lieutenant
because your life insurance rates will start to soar.
7. Duck (accredited to KarnageGOD)
6. Don't let primitive teddy bears borrow your speed bike.
5. Tricks of the trade such as taking a leak without having to take off
the entire uniform.
4. Don't underestimate farmboys armed with flashlights.
3. When dealing with ex-smugglers who own cloud cities, make damn
sure you have them completely whipped into submission before
dismissing them.
2. It's okay to shoot when surrounded by teddy bears armed with
spears and stones.
1. Don't make faces at Vader from under your helmet. He knows.


Some Kenner Toys Never to be made....

10. Jabba the Hutt with working slime pores.
9. Doomed Imperial Officer Two-pack: Admiral Ozzel and Captain Needa with
crushing throat action!
8. Leia as slave girl (with removable costume).
7. Scratch 'n Sniff Chewbacca.
6. Jawa Sandcrawler playset with burning Jawas.
5. Emperor with wheelchair and handicapped parking sticker.
4. X-wing and Porkins with exploding action!
3. Ponda Boda with removable arm and crying action!
2. Talking Bespin Luke. Screams: "You're not my father! That's Impossible!"
1. TRU exclusive two pack: The charred corpses of Luke's Aunt and Uncle!

Top Ten Sceens cut from the Star Wars Special Edition

10. Endor speeder bikes passing through a fast-food drive-through.
9. Vader to Luke: "Luke, turn to the Dark Side... pretty please with a cherry on
top?"
8. The Emperor using his hands to jump start his shuttle.
7. Line of Stormtroopers doing the can-can.
6. Jabba's body being fed to the Sarlacc, then being spit up again.
5. Aliens celebrating the fall of the Empire in the Mos Eisley cantina.
4. Han Solo meeting Q in docking bay 94.
3. Threepio tripling his RAM.
2. Leia's big dance number in Jabba's palace.
1. The Emperor dancing to "Stayin' Alive."

*******

Signs That You May Be a Complete Star Wars Addict:

· You watch the entire trilogy at least once a month.
· You don't need a TV and VCR to watch the movies.
· You know at least 10 Star Wars website addresses by heart.
· You know all the forms in which it's been released (theater, Pan &Scan video, Letterbox, Laserdisc, etc.) and know the differences between them.
· You can recite *all* the dialogue from the entire trilogy.
· You quote the trilogy at apropos moments.
· You draw comparisons to Star Wars in casual conversation.
· You shell out 10 bucks for a magazine that describes the planet Tatooine.
· When your alarm clock goes off in the morning, your reply is, "Unexpected this is... and unfortunate!"
· You know the names of all major cast members and what they're doing now.
· You have a list of major bloopers and inside jokes in your head.
· You would feed yourself to the rancor if it meant finding out the name of Anakin's wife.
· You're always game to hear the latest rumor about the new films.
· Even if you don't buy the spinoff material, you know it's out there, who wrote it, who published it, and you can probably give a synopsis of it.
· You can pick more nits out of a spinoff novel than Lucas himself.
· You hunt through ROTJ frame-by-frame searching for the shoe.
· You have gone over ANH and ESB frame-by-frame, just in case someone put a shoe in there, too.
· You think John Williams is the greatest composer ever lived.
· You wonder why the SW theme never makes it into any of those "Classical Collections"...
· You make lists like "101 Uses for An Ewok," OR "Signs You May Be a SW Addict!" (no comment)
· Your internet handle or signature refers to Star Wars.
· Your friends regularly quiz you on SW factoids.
· Whenever you buy a new appliance, you always make sure and get that one that speaks Bocce.
· You know more about the major characters' personalities than Lucasfilm does.
· When something is just out of your reach, you close your eyes and try to "force" it into your hand.
· When your professor hands you back a paper and says, "Commas are your weakness," you retort, "And your faith in your friends is yours!!"
· You know all the words to that Ewok song.
· Everytime someone tells you one of their deepest secrets you gloat and say, "You're far too trusting."
· You insist on telling people the odds about everything!
· People tell you to stop saying, "I have a bad feeling about this" so often.
· You are counting the days until movie one of the prequels.
· You can't pick up a flashlight without waving it around and humming.
· You think the babblings of Yoda are relevant and useful to everyday life.
· When you experience insomnia, you begin counting nerf.
· You know what a nerf is.
· When you put Star Wars in the VCR and push "play," it's like you're being transported to another world.
· Someone mentions being abducted by little green men and you respond by pointing out that Yoda would never do such a thing!
· You find yourself discussing characters from the books and movies as if they were actually old friends of yours.
· You don't need subtitles when an alien speaks in one of the movies.
· You have a pet named after one of the characters.
· You have a child named after one of the characters or stars.
· You truly believe you are strong in the Force.
· Yoda and Ben appears to you in your dreams and you take their advice on a regular basis.
· A SW *.wav file plays on your computer whenever you do a windows application.
· You truly believe, after 13 years, that the new movies will be released any day now.
· When you get in trouble and your parents decide to punish you, they know that the only way they'll get through to you is by taking away your privilege to watch Star Wars.
· You dream about Star Wars, both at night and during the day.
· When you read SW books, you can see it happening in your head.
· You can't read a quote from one of the movies without acting like the person who actually said it!
· James Earl Jones will ALWAYS be Darth Vader to you, no matter what other role he is in.
· You are saving your money now. Because the special editions and prequels are coming out soon and you know that what you want to do will require a lot of money!!

Eh.... imam toga još.....

Ma nisam mislila povecat si broj postova nego sam postala odvojeno cisto iz razloga za bolju preglednost onima koji to budu citali... Pliz nemojte me banirat....

Hmmm da za zene mali kviz...
link

Nije neka zafrkancija ali je fora (Btw. Yoda is my man)

Imaš tako nešta za muške.