Glupi Citati

Evo za muhu. Geografija, vruće, sat frei jer nitko nije imao ništa za raditi, profesor ispituje za višu ocjenu. Ja u drugoj klupi srednjeg reda, moj frend u prvoj ispred. Leti muha. Moj frend gleda muhu. Nakon što mu je počela zujati oko glave on počne mahati rukama da ju otjera. Na kraju mu pukne film te ju počne sa bilježnicom. Ode muha. Vrati se nakon 2 minute, prozuji mu ispred očiju, i ode visoko gore na zastor. On ustane, uzme onaj veliki školski atlas, popne se na stol ispred profesora koji je spremao stvari nakon ispitivanja, zamahne i pogodi okvir prozora uz glasan prasak. Naravno, muhu je fulao, svi crkavaju od smijeha, a profesor kaže: "Siđi dolje. Što da sad radim? Da ti dam pet iz zalaganja?"

I jedna danas (kolega profi): "E da, profesorice, vi niste bili s nama na maturalcu. Vi se morate još naroljati sa nama."

Svi su iz legendarnih Simpsona:

Homer: [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.'

Homer: [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

Bart Simpson (spelling "Impervious" in a spelling B): I...M...P
Nelson: Bart is pee!
Ralph Wiggum: I made Bart in my pants!

Comic Book Guy: Stop right there! I have the only working fazer ever built. It was fired only once to keep William Shatner from making another album.

Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

Barney: Hey, Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left.

Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.

Comic Book Guy: Last night's 'Itchy and Scratchy Show' was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Comic Book Guy: That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore.

Man: I'm telling you the light would work better if it pointed out to sea.
Sea Captian: Arr, shut up. I know what I'm doin'.
(a boat crashes in the distance)
Sea Captian: Arr, I hate the sea and everything in it.

Mr. Burns: A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow... and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.

Smithers: I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die.

Evo ar bisera iz školske klupe

Proferorto je Dan D?
Učeniklan napada na Jugoslaviju.

Profesor:Kada su se odvijale Olimpijske igre u staroj Grčkoj?
Učenikvakog utorka i četvrtka.